The Healing Process.
Being in Pain (Entering Fear).
Getting out of pain means change. It means entering process. It means loss and gain. It means encountering the courage to be more genuine and my inherent and most natural self. To develop the courage to be myself, I must experience what I initially feared in some way, perhaps imaginatively. Pain can be lived in– lived in and with– it will not consume me– though it feels at times that it might. I can live and breathe while inside it. I can sense the fear and then begin to look at the fear. Pain cannot move if I am not aware of its origin– expressing its origin– and that origin is fear.
Preparing for Change.
I must take deep breaths and prepare for change. I cannot come out from pain– release myself from pain– I cannot move from where I am in myself to a new place within in myself, without making change. Change is needed. I am attracted to it. I feel the fear of all this and this is good. To find a place that is not denial and yet beyond pain requires that I face it– and to face the pain I must face the fear. I may not remember the fear. If I am feeling it then I am on the right track. This is good. Fear is active pain. Fear is a pain– a spiritual pain– a pain of the spirit– but it is active pain– pain that can move. It must be active to change it.
Recovering the Fear.
If I am in pain and yet not aware of its origin– not aware of why– then it is only because I became afraid of the fear and so naturally, (wanting to no longer feel this spiritual pain– the pain of what might otherwise be) I did what any reasonable person would do in this situation. Not being fully equipped with the necessary means to face the fear, I pretended it didn't exist– I denied it– avoided it– brushed it aside.
If I am in touch with my fear, I can be proud for this is, all by itself, a great accomplishment. This means I am actively aware of my pain and it is spiritual in origin in that it represents soul growth that is lasting. I am on the road to making change.
Facing the Denied.
If I am serious about being out of pain, I must remember what I denied. It is natural to have an aversion to this because it will mean facing that fear– seeing myself fearful again. It requires going back to the place where I chose to bury the fear, and choose again– choose differently– choose instead to look at the fear– acknowledge the fear and the feared.
Levels of Denial, Levels of Fear.
The reward may be deeper, but a recognizable release, some level of liberation, and a movement of energy will naturally be experienced. The change will be reflected in how I view circumstance. I will see things differently once I have registered what I initially feared and seen it clearly. This very action releases and moves energy.
There is no going back. Lessons learned is quality of experience secured. It is the security of self-knowledge. I cannot now unknow it. It is there to be known and will have positive ramifications regardless of what I may consciously choose to do. It will be there even in my involuntary or non-deliberated actions and choices. I have begun to heal.
Once there is courage, the natural inclination that brought up fear will be experienced, and this inclination is likely of a desirous nature. In desire, the power of the creative spirit is felt. In this power, the recognition of possibility, and to realize the power of possibility, it to recognize love, for with possibility around, it follows that every and all things can be brought to joy.